For centuries, scratch that, since the beginning of humanity, women have struggled to balance their work life and family life and many of them have had to give up one for the other. In times past and even presently in most societies, women were seen only as homemakers and lived as such. They lived their lives with that one purpose, to get married and have a family and that was all the fulfillment they ever got. The moment a woman got married her life became that of mother and wife, everything before that became inconsequential, that’s all they lived for and so most women could not even consider careers and ambition.
Many believe that really ambitious women don’t have time for family life and won’t be able to have both. In parts of Nigeria and Africa, there are scenarios where a marriage falls apart and people blame the woman for having a career, which in their mind inevitably means she is not an efficient mother and wife. The modern woman however continuously tries to find balance between career and family and they find total fulfillment. A lot of women have had to give up their careers, passions and dreams as soon as they get married so as to have stability in the home and have children.
Ini Itama, an artist based in Lagos, thinks its possible to have the best of both worlds.
“They can definitely have both. Having children is a beautiful thing, it is the greatest gift that God ever gave to a woman. Being able to carry a child and being able to give birth to a child is the most amazing thing ever. Sometimes you think it’s a piece of cake or heaven or an oreo sandwich, the best thing that ever happened to man but honestly, carrying a child and giving birth is a miracle. But at the same time, achieving your dreams is one amazing thing that nobody should ever sweep under the carpet. Yes, you can have both. Whoever said you can’t have children and achieve your dreams? That person is a liar because it’s all about discipline, balance and being ambitious. You can be ambitious and have children it will just take extra hard work. There is no other way to success than working hard, you would have to pay your dues, make the sacrifices but you can have both. It may not be easy, it is never easy, the road to success is never easy but the sacrifices are always worth it in the end of the day. You look at your kids, they are worth it. You look at your husband, your family, everything is worth it and your whole family is worth it. Then you look at your dreams, it’s worth it as well, so, you definitely can have both. You definitely can be a happy, fulfilled person. It’s possible to have dreams and also have kids.”
Women shouldn’t have to sacrifice one for the other, as they say, what a man can do, a woman can do also. So basically, when a woman is married to the right partner who also believes and supports her dreams, they can make it work together. It is no easy task to have a successful career and a happy family as a woman, it take a lot of hard work, dedication and support from you and all your loved ones around you. Women don’t have to have unfulfilled career lives just because they want to have a happy family, they should be able to have both as long as they work hard to make it work.