Marriage is a union of two different individuals who come together through the union, to become one. No one should enter into it without being fully prepared to accept the challenges it comes with. Marriage is no child’s play and is a union that should be respected and revered. Unfortunately, this is not the case these days as a lot of people are rushing in and rushing out with no regards for the sacredness of the union. The success of a good marriage is dependent on both the man and the woman.
Marriage these days has become very complicated and a lot of people are scared to go in because of the many issues that threaten the institution and the amount of people who have gone in happy but rushed out eventually. Marriage issues always spark a lot of controversial arguments and most people either use their personal experience to judge, find some religious backing to support their argument or sit on the sidelines and criticize all parties involved.
“The burden of being a good wife lies on your husband”, this was gotten out of something Toke Makinwa wrote in her book ‘On Becoming’ and during one reading, sparked up a very heated and exciting argument. Of course, there are a lot of ways to look at it; it could be that she meant that having an understanding and encouraging husband help the wife to be better or that having a good husband either brings out the best or worst in the wife.
The definition of a good wife is different things to different people, to some, it’s a wife who can cook, to some a wife who works hard, to others a wife who can bear a lot of children, and so on and so forth. I doubt if there is a generally accepted bar to measure the qualities of a good wife or a good husband as everyone goes for the person that suits their individual needs, has similar goals and can make them happy for the rest of their lives (as it was intended).
Many times, when a marriage fails, the blame game begins starting from the couple themselves, to family members and even neighbours. Who is to blame for the couple not having children? Who is to blame for the husband having an affair? Who is to blame for the constant arguments? The list goes on and on and everyone is more comfortable pointing fingers than actually taking responsibility for whatever role they played in the situation.
Everybody strives to be a better person and I have to agree that to have a loving healthy relationship you have to make an effort to be and do better for that person especially when you know your efforts are appreciated and not going unnoticed. Even when your efforts go unnoticed, never give up, marriage takes continuous work. In every relationship and marriage, each person should try to do better to bring out the best in his/her partner. As different things work for different people, learn to live for each other at all times.